To Whom It May Concern
To Whom It May Concern:
Today at 5:30 we have kidnapped your Mother from the supermarket. She is driving us crazy. I thought my Mother was bad but yours just takes the cake. She is cleaning up every minute, nagging us to tuck our shirts in our pants and to comb our hair, and says we shouldn’t eat junk food. She talks too damn much about her family. So we are offering you $200 to come pick her up.
P.S. and hurry up!
Dear Kidnappers:
We would not take her for $2,000. We’ve been trying to get rid of her for years. You got her, now you keep.
- Terrell J.
Reprinted in Dave Smith’s “Making It Work: A Few from the Heart,” New York Times (September 11, 1994).
Things You Wouldn’t Want on Your Towel
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