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by Aaron Belz

Aaron Belz is a poet, non-fiction writer, and critic who has published in magazines ranging from Gulf Coast to Wired. He also writes extensively on digital media. Belz has a MA in creative writing from New York University.

POETRY THAT BRAGS: The Kalevala, Rakim, and LL Cool J

Today we did the lesson that my third-grade kids had been talking about from the time they first perused their books: “Braggin’ Rites.” Next week is my last week with them, so I had to choose one of the remaining lessons, and this was the one that cried out to be tried.

First I asked them, “What does bragging mean?” Here’s are examples of what they said:

• talk too much
• showing off something
• you are better than someone else

Then I asked, “What kinds of things do you brag about?” To which they responded:

• hairstyle
• clothes
• shoes
• looks
• teeth
• house

I said, “teeth, really?” Tyreese nodded his head. Then he smiled, and I saw that he does have amazing teeth.

I told the class that bragging is a tradition in poetry, and has been for centuries. I pulled a big book out of my bag and said, “This book is one long poem that was written about a thousand years ago. It contains some wonderful bragging.” This was The Kalevala, the Finnish epic first translated into English in the 19th century. I read them the beginning of Poem 3, in which a young upstart Joukahainen challenges an elder, master songsmith Vainamoinen, to a duel. Young Joukahainen said:

“Good indeed is my father’s knowledge,
my mother’s even better, but my own knowledge is supreme.
If I wish to rival, to be the equal of men,
I will sing down my rival singers, enchant my enchanters.
I will sing the best singer into the worst singer,
sing shoes of stone onto his feet, wooden pants onto his hips,
a stone weight onto his chest, a chunk of rock onto his shoulders,
stone mittens onto his hands, onto his head a high-peaked hat of rock.”

I told them that this young whippersnapper was threatening to put Vainamoinen in his grave, covered in stone and rock. I asked the kids who they predicted would win this duel, and they all said “Vainamoinen!” I am surprised at how well they intuit literary themes. Several lessons ago, in Seuss’s “Solla Sollew” story, they knew from the start that his troubles would not end with assaults from “in front and behind.” Now they correctly predicted that the elder poet would win the contest. As the story goes on, Vainamoinen sings so well that Joukahainen sinks into a bog, “up to his beard in a bad place,” and begs Vainamoinen to stop. I asked them why this happened, and they said, “Because the young one is too proud.” Perhaps I should have asked how many of them knew the term hubris.

At this point we turned our attention to a red boombox I had brought in. I have to send props out to my good friend Jon Varner, who recommended that we listen to Rakim as an example of bragging rap. It is actually hard to find rap that is not explicit or vulgar, and this particular Rakim track, “Follow the Leader,” is clean. I passed out copies of the lyrics, which I had printed on neon lime green paper. I told them to read along as they listened, and look for times when Rakim bragged. They must have read along very well, because they all flipped their papers simultaneously.

At one point in that song, Rakim says, “Pull out my weapon and start to squeeze / A magnum as a microphone murderin’ MC’s.”With all the deftness of Socrates himself, I led them into a recognition that this was essentially the same death-threat issued by Joukahainen hundreds of years earlier, and declared that bragging is an important tradition in poetry. (Of course, they loved this part of the lesson.)

We moved on to the poem of the day, LL Cool J’s “I’m Bad” (cleaned-up version). In each section, I had six kids come up to read, one for each verse. In the third and fourth sections, I made sure to assign the sixth verse to a good reader:

My vulture’s exact like rack and pinion in a Jag
You try to brag you get your rhymes from a grab-bag
No good scavenger catfish vulture My tongue’s a chisel in this competition sculpture.

Now about 30 minutes into the class, we moved into the writing assignment, which I tried to leave fairly unspecific:

(1) Think about specific things you are proud of about yourself, where you live, your family.
(2) Brag about them.

The only thing I stressed in this was the need to be specific, and invited them to try any form they wanted. Here are some of the poems they wrote

THE WAY PEOPLE BRAG
by Marquita Johnson

Hey you, Sara, that’s why you got your pants from the Goodwill.
You got YOURS from the Goodwill.
No hunny, I got mine from Marshalls.
Hey Sara, you got them shoes from Payless Shoestore.
No, you got YOUR shoes from Payless.
No hunny baby child, I got mines from Foot Locker.
Hey Sara, you got your socks from off the corner.
You got YOUR socks from off the corner.

BRAGGIN’ SINGING
by Shanice Smith

I think I can sing,
as a matter of fact I know I can.
People in this school think
they can do stuff better,
but let me tell you in this letter.
What I want to say is not that nice,
but I am hot, like spice.
I don’t like many people
that are stuck on themselves.
I am sometimes stuck on myself,
but hey, if I can sing,
I’m going to let my bell ring.
Some people think I can’t sing,
but they never heard me sing.
I will make them go ding bling.
They would tell me themselves, “She can sing,”
I need to make my bell ring.
Don’t hate you need to participate,
because baby honey child, I can get wild.
So don’t get on my side,
‘cause I can make you go cabloo.

BRAGGIN’ POEM
by LaTonya Bonner

My teeth are cleaner than yours.
My hair is longer than your mom’s.
My shoes are cleaner than yours,
cause your mom’s teeth been on them.
My mom look cleaner than your mom.
My house is cleaner than your house.
My dog look better than your mom and dad.
(to: Leon)

I LOOK SO GOOD
by Jasmine Roy

I look so good, just thinking about it makes me finer.
Just thinking about how fine I am, I might even blow my mind.
Just thinking about how fine I am I might even take your man
and stump him to the ground.