Resources

by Ashley Simpson

Ashley Simpson is a fiction writer from Hot Springs, Arkansas. Her work has been published by the Paterson Literary Review, the Brooklyn Review, and the American Literary Review.

Metaphors, Descriptive Language, and Sandra Cisneros

I have used Sandra Cisneros’ writing with elementary ESL students, high school hearing-impaired and deaf students, fifth-graders in an after-school program, and teen-aged spoken word poets. Cisneros’ vignette “My Name” in her book The House on Mango Street has proved especially perfect for teaching young writers to use metaphors and descriptive language.

Before I pass out copies of Cisneros’ work, I ask students to help me remember the five senses. As they call them out, I write them on the blackboard. I’ve found that having the senses listed on the board reminds students to use them in their writing.

After talking about how the senses can make our writing really vivid, we move to talking about metaphors and similes. I remind them that metaphors and similes are comparisons. (During one such class, Kelvin, a student at PS 753, told me that there are two basketball players called “the Twin Towers.” He realized that the phrase was an excellent example of a metaphor – comparing basketball players to buildings.) For the younger students, I found that using Kenneth Koch’s “sky technique” from Wishes, Lies, and Dreams was helpful. On one particularly overcast day, I asked students if the sky reminded them of cotton candy. At first students thought I was kidding and unanimously said, “No,” the sky did not remind them of cotton candy. After thinking about it, though, someone said, “Well, the clouds.” Then someone else said, “Cotton balls.” I said, “What about a river?” and another student said, “No, the sky is like a big pond.”

After we come up with several examples of metaphors, I pass out copies of Cisneros’ “My Name.” A student (or students) reads the vignette aloud, and then I re-read it, pausing on language that uses the senses or that uses metaphors. In the first paragraph of “My Name,” Esperanza, the narrator, describes her name. “It means sadness, it means waiting,” she says. “It is like the number nine. A muddy color.” She also says it is like the Mexican records that her father plays, “songs like sobbing.”

I ask students, “If your name could be any number, what would it be?” Students quickly catch on, saying, “Jorel is like the number two,” or “Jermaine is the number ninety-nine.” Then I ask them what color their name would be. Students always love this question. Barry, possibly the most challenged and talented student I’ve ever come across, said in one of my classes, “My name is the color caramel.” When the teacher and I both praised him, the other students chimed in. I have heard red, blue, and black names. One student said, “My name is black like a shadow.”

For the writing section of the lesson, I write four categories on the board. During one class, I wrote “plant, color, taste, sound.” These categories are completely negotiable, however—I have also used categories such as “animal, building, city, song.” I then tell students that we are going to write poems about someone we know well using a metaphor from each category. We start by writing a collaborative piece, creating a sample poem on the board. For example:

My grandmother is a small daisy
My grandmother is the color yellow
My grandmother is banana pudding and Nilla Wafers
My grandmother is quiet like morning sleep.

I ask students to be as specific as possible. If they choose a tree for the plant category, for example, I ask them to say what kind of tree—the students then come up with lots of possibilities: pine, oak, Christmas, apple, and pear trees. I say if they choose a dog for their animal, they should specify what kind of dog they’re talking about: Dalmatian, rottweiler, and so on. For tastes we come up with “spicy,” “sweet,” “salty,” or, even better, “a bowl of strawberries.” For sounds we discuss “loud like car alarms or thunderstorms,” or “quiet like rain or night.” Students usually go wild with this activity. It gives them a sense of structure but encourages creativity.

Myself is blue
Myself is a Venus fly trap
Myself is like all the
Wild dogs
My favorite food is mashed potatoes

—Ronald, Grade 3

My baby sister is like the color
Baby blue
My baby sister is like a
Sunflower
My baby sister is like one bad
Parrot
My baby sister is like vanilla
Pudding.

—Joan, Grade 3

My brother is like a candy apple very
sweet on the outside and a little tarty
My brother is the sound of a quiet storm
My brother is like the sun he is
very bright because he shines
My brother is like a dandelion when he gets
mad he just blows away.

—Barney, High School

My cousin is the color blue
He plays college football
My cousin is colored leaves in the fall
My cousin is a loud sound in the locker room
My cousin smells stink from playing football
My cousin is the taste of pepper.

—Jemar, Grade 5

My father is like an eagle flying
away.

My mother is like a rose in
a vase.

My big sister is like a Chocolate
Shake in a cup.

My little sister is like a Clown
running around.

I am like the wind playing
with the sky.

—Donna Reyes, Grade 5