Tag Archives: teaching artist experience

Bottoms Up!

Dearest students,

On this, the celebration of the publication of the anthology of your writing, I’d like to take a moment—before this descends into the cheeto-snorting, chair-throwing, chaos-fest it inevitably will—to make a toast. If you could all raise your wee plastic cups of the Jolt Cola and Red Bull that your parents thought appropriate to send along with you for this 8:30AM party, let us acknowledge that which has brought this magnificent piece of work into being:

To your school administrators: who, despite more and more urgent messages on their voice mails; notes to their secretaries; desperate emails in the middle of the night; text messages; letters delivered by US Mail, FedEx, UPS, and courier; faxes, telexes, and one telegram; failed to respond to even the most basic questions of class room assignment, scheduling, teacher absence, or even of the plans of this very event. Your hands-off approach instilled in me exactly the confidence necessary to come into your school ready and able to meet the specific needs of your students. Bravo!

To your assistant principal: who, despite the above attempts at communication, was shocked to find me in one of your classrooms on my assigned day, and who, after my lovely conversation with the three burly security guards she called—and you should feel safe knowing such strong and conscientious men, with such pliable, firm, yet often gentle hands, are looking after your protection—asked that I immediately provide her with full lesson plans following EATM, COSEE, and NYSBOE guidelines, for each residency day. Huzzah! (more...)